Stopping at the Start

mugsMy sisters made me do it!  Being from a family of 10, six of us whom are women, I have used that excuse more than once.  My poor mom!  I’m sure she heard every excuse imaginable.  How she put up with it I will never know.  She didn’t spank us enough that’s for sure.  But yes, this time my sisters really did make me do it.  One of my older sisters convinced my baby sister and me (we are the two youngest girls) to think about blogging.  I suppose she knew that we both had enough baggage to keep a blog going for years.  I suppose she could be right.

I wrote my first blog and sent it off to some choice friends, all of whom lived a LONG way from me, and to my two sisters above whom also live a LONG ways from me.  My email stated, and I quote, Just starting and at this point no one in my IMMEDIATE family (mom, brothers, sisters, in-laws, etc) knows.  I would like to keep it this way for a bit until I get this off the ground I would love this to be a successful blog on what really happens with a crazy older woman who suddenly becomes a ranch wife, has a combined family, etc— and all the goodness and blessings we have, plus the hardships.”   My youngest sister responded with a thank-you for letting me know that I’m off the “immediate family” list.”   She is such a smartie pants.  Then she gave me the best advice.  Don’t let the start stop you..and don’t let your goofy little insecurities get in the way.”

 This might not make a lot of sense to any of you, but let me assure you, it made loads of sense to me.  Sam pic 3The start almost paralyzed me.  The start made me break out in sweats.  The start gave me goosebumps and caused me to lose sleep.  Yes, the start almost stopped me.  It is easy to put yourself out there to strangers.  It is not so easy to bare your soul to your family and friends.  It is almost as hard as starting over in a new relationship at the age of 36 after a 15-year relationship finally died a painful death. 

People know the basics, but they don’t know the nitty gritty guts of stuff.  Same with writing a blog.  My friends and family know the basics of what happens around here, but they don’t know the nitty gritty guts.  I live in the same yard as my in-laws.  They are fabulous and I couldn’t think of anyone I would rather live this close to, but they don’t know that I didn’t go to the barn for three days because I was in the house trying to prove a point to their son.  They may have suspected, but they would never ask.  They are the most non-intrusive people I know.  How blessed we are to live in the same yard with them.  Unfortunately, they don’t share the same luck as they have to live in the same yard as a crazy woman!  The craziness is what is tough to share.  It can be a circus around here. 

Thanks for letting me vent.  I didn’t let the start stop me.  I promise not to over-share as I know it would scare the jeepers out of you!  But I do promise to try to give you a daily glimpse of what it is like here on this South Dakota ranch from a ranch wife’s perspective.  Thanks for coming along for the ride. 

6 thoughts on “Stopping at the Start

  1. heidi sallquist

    I’m so glad you didn’t stop.. I love your blog. It’s the 1st thing I read when I check my emails. Keep it up and know you have a fan in me.

    Reply
  2. Donna

    MY WANT WAS TO GO TO COLLEGE, NEVER DID HAPPEN, BUT AM PROUD TO SAY IT WAS OFFERED TO ALL 4 OF OUR DAUGHTERS 3 GRADUATED ALL ON THERE OWN AND THE 4 THE WORKED HER WAY UP TO A GREAT CAREER, AT 62 I M STILL LEARNING IN THE COLLEGE OF LIFE DON’T EVER GIVE UP DEB YOU HAVE A GREAT MANY OF US FARM AND RANCH WIVES THAT HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE !

    Reply
  3. Jody

    I will openly share that I am one of the friends who was the first to read this blog…at the beginning. I must admit I was surprised that my friend was doing this in the most positive way possible. I admire my dear friend tremendously….to be open and talk about things from the past. We all have past times in our life that we wish would have been different, either us or the other people involved. My dear friend, I am so glad you started. I make sure I read this site every night before I go to bed!! 🙂 I very much understand the paralyzed feeling that can make us our worst enemy.

    I regret we don’t get to spend as much time together as we have in the past, but this site helps immensely!!

    Love you and keep writing!!!!!

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